Transient

(adjective) passing away quickly, not lasting or permanent

….for things that are seen are transient… 1st Corinthians 4:18

My life does not feel like it is quickly passing away. I’m about to graduate from university and the 50 years or so of working life in front of me seems like a very long time. Today the time between 1:30pm and hometime at work was almost unbearable. And yet my one vapour on this earth is quickly passing away.

I used to feel this truth deeply. It used to make me want to throw off apathy and RUN hard. It made me want to warn and encourage with a trembling voice everyone I knew that Jesus is Lord and they better be doing something about it. It made me want to swing upstream like a salmon against the waters of my same sex attraction. And now I feel apathetic about it all. Now I walk with a leisurely stroll. Now I occasionly mention I go to church on the weekend. Now my eyes wander and I try to make sure I don’t feel guilty about it cause I have every intention of letting them wander again.

But I want the fire back. I WANT THE FIRE BACK. But I know I’m going to have to fight for it. I’m going to have to put one foot in front of the other until I’m power walking again. I know it’s waiting for me. I got into a deep discussion about baptism with someone the other week and those old embers were bright again, but I let it die down. I got to fight so this time it will be different.

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2 thoughts on “Transient

  1. Well Chris…is it my imagination or have you had this Xanga page for a while only it was just an anonymous page, without any info on it? Maybe I’m going nuts…I just seem to recall seeing your screen name many times throughout many months but no identifying info? ……oh man, or maybe I just need to go get some coffee…..:)In the Master’s Grip, Casey

  2. Good for you man!!!! I think it’s awesome and I hope Xanga is for you what it has been to me….remember…hawks are fearsome predators but even hawks have a nemesis….a flock of crows…..alone, a simple crow (blackbird) is no match for a hawk…but when the crows band together, they can kill a hawk….I’ve seen hawks flying away for their lives plenty of times from groups of crows…All my best, Casey

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