(adverb) in an honest way


So where am I at with SSA right now? Well I guess I would describe it as knowing the right things to do and knowing the wrong things not to do but not being particularly diligent in the doing and the not doing. So that is really a convoluted way of saying, I’m disobeying in the small things, (as compared to big things not small as in unimportant) such as masturbation, eye wandering, and making a bigger effort to expand social boundaries.


This bad period probably began about 8 weeks or so ago when I started feeling distant from God and then I just started doing these things again. And still feeling distant I haven’t really motivated myself to stop. This kind of talk it crazy coming from me in a way, I’m often pretty cautious of giving too much weight to feelings when they contradict truth.


I was reading this article by a dead guy yesterday. He basically said one of the mistakes young men make is they (I) think they can serve our lusts and pleasures in the beginning and then serve God with ease later.


Anyway I know this can’t go on. I’ve already wasted 8 weeks, in which I could have experienced victory and built stronger foundations through a tough time. I had my SSA group the other night and it was kinda like a kick in the butt. When we were getting prayed for someone got a word and basically said where I’m at right now and I’d only met him that night so he couldn’t have known. That’s like the first time I have ever had that happen. So here’s to fighting and staying the course and persisting and all those hard things in the isolated hour.


4 thoughts on “Honestly

  1. Man it’s so hard for me to believe you’re only 21.  I knew you were a youngster, but I was thinking late 20’s early 30’s, and it has nothing to do with you looking old.   You don’t look old.   But you’re writing is mature.    Obedience in the small things doesn’t just include behaviors specific to the struggle with SSA.    There are other areas of disobedience that will produce a greater struggle with the SSA.    Even disobedience in areas that have nothing to do with the struggle will bring about the same effect.  
    There it is again….feelings…..that’s our favorite idol “feelings”.    It’s all a bunch of dingo dung mate!

  2. Thanks for sharing bud. I agree with the above comment. I’ve been going through your comments and I can’t believe you write so eloquently and definatley in a mature manner. Thank you!

  3. Thanks for that, man. That’s been an encouragement to me today. God bless you.

  4. RYC: I don’t judge people’s typos.   My punctuation is terrible!!!   It’s the content that moves me.    Real writers intimidate me…..there I said it!   It freaked me out when you finally started posting.   Before you just had this blank page.  I’d see your footprints and wonder who in the heck you were.    Then I learn that you’re a journalist…..it freaked me out!    I thought, “Great!  This journalist has been coming to my blog all this time!”    Then, I must admit, I wondered  what could possibly draw you to read my inane, loquacious, chaos.
    Chris, you don’t look 30, but I know the feeling.     
    God Bless,

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