(adverb) with little or no sound, not loud or noisy
I’m a quiet person. I don’t talk heaps and can’t think of lots of things to say. I’m an introvert so I don’t mind spending time by myself, and large groups of people I don’t know make me really uncomfortable. This is probably the part of myself that I most dislike, that I am awkward in conversation and uncomfortable in large groups and just quiet. Positively I’m not as quiet as I used to be, partly because starting uni forced me to push myself out of my comfort zone and I’m pretty good with one on one conversations.
I hate that feeling of being in a large group and standing by myself and wishing I knew someone well enough to spend the night hanging around or that someone would come up and save me from my standing alone. I guess I feel people are judging me cause I have sub-standard social skills or, worse, they are pitying me for the same reason. (As a former psych student I know they probably aren’t even thinking about me but that doesn’t make the moment any easier). This standing alone in large groups doesn’t really happen very often I try not to get into too many of these situations and because I don’t go too well in these situations I don’t get to go to heaps more.
Part of the problem it takes me longer to build relationships, so I have to put myself into these types of situations for longer. And then I can get more comfortable with people and be more open and make friends. Uni was pretty much a social disaster for me, I made some friends. But it took a long time especially when I didn’t see people that much. Like in high school you spend so much time with the same people you can get to know them and they can get to know you and for an introvert like me all that time is important. But despite this I’ve got some good friends that I am really thankful for.
Because of these things I always dreads new places and new people because I know I’m going to have to start from the beginning again. And there are new people to wonder why I don’t say so much or don’t say much that makes sense. Anyway it’s an extrovert’s world out there, but I’m doing the best I can, most of the time.