Where

“Where did I go wrong?” How to Save a Life – The Fray.

About eight months ago I was probably a totally different person in some areas of my life. I was into the Bible, liked to read about Christian thinking, was fighting sin hard in my life and being lax in my studies. Now I’m not into my Bible, not heaps interested in Christian thinking and not fighting sin hard in my life. And I’m not totally sure why.

 

I guess part of me wants there to be something so dramatic that it helps soothe my conscience or a day I can point to as where I went off the rails. I can still remember sitting on the porch at the support group thing I was in doing this accountability thing and being up to about 50 days masturbation and porn free. And then the next night or so I fell and here I am. Though at the time I was aware of creeping feelings of distance from God and a new job that was taking up thoughts and mental energy I hadn’t used before.

 

Now I’m trying to fight again and it’s hard. Six months of stupidity takes it’s toll and it’s not as easy to say ‘no’ now, then it was when I had been fighting full on for a while. I was lying in bed last night trying to find some reason, some issue I haven’t been dealing with that caused my fall. And honestly it probably isn’t there. It’s possibly more about the modern need for excitement, big events and melodrama then taking the long and slow walk and obedience. I guess it’s a good illustration of 1 Cointhians 12:10 “Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall”.

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5 thoughts on “Where

  1. I can totally relate to you. I can’t count the number of times I have thought that I was out of the addictions and then BOOM!!! There they are again. You are a brave man. Continue to fight, no matter how many times you fall. God will honor you. You will honor God. I am praying for you bro. Look to Him… problems will always be there, but He will always be there as well. Keep looking to Him. He’s much bigger I promise. Much love bro. God bless you.Always, Justin Green

  2. It is very easy to get lax and let the good habits fall away.  I’m on Day 9 of the Bible in a Year reading program that I recently started, and it is so easy to say “I’ll do it tomorrow.”  The P and M habits are very hard to break, too, but with some mental commitment and healthy habits to replace them, it can be done.  Feel free to ask for support and encouragement anytime.  It does help.  Jeff

  3. Sadly, I know all too well what you mean, but whatever, falling doesn’t mean I’m going to stop moving forward… stopping was never an option. Come to think of it, I see it all the time among struggler’s of SSA. They fight or work in the process, but leave if it gets to hard because they have another option. Failing in this role isn’t failure — It just means they try a different role. I guess it works if you only have one option. But… I can’t say I know how to make it the reality.

  4. I definitely understand the frustrations that you are dealing with.  I was just thinking the other day of how it is those days when I’m not really paying attention that temptation seemingly comes out of nowhere, and I mess up; only to then realize how lax I have become in my relationship with God.  That verse is very applicable.  I’ll be praying for you, and always feel free to ask for support! 

  5. Thanks for sharing bud.I told you we were twins…I will update soon, but you know you have my support bud.In Christ,Jared

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