Helpless

SO some guy I know from my
same- sex attraction support group (which for various reasons hasn’t me since November)
told me that he is looking for a boyfriend. No he hasn’t turned his back on ‘God’
or his idea of God at least. He’s spent a lot of time with God and will
continue to attempt to stay away from porn, and won’t have sex with a potential
boyfriend. At least until they get married. I didn’t really know what to say so
I asked some more questions and found out a bit more about his beliefs. I asked
him what other people had thought. He said he hadn’t told many and the person
he had told didn’t seem to agree. He then asked me what I thought.

I still didn’t know what to
say. I know what I wanted to say: “this is not right, what about all the Bible
verses, what about other people who have succeeded (or more probably fought
valiantly)?” But I doubt it would have helped so I just said “it doesn’t matter
what I think”. Though I did ask, “do you really believe, 100 per cent believe
that God wants you to have a boyfriend?” I’ll spare you his answer. Should I
have told him he was wrong? Or said I’ll always love you, but I don’t agree
with you? or whatever?

To tell you the truth I wasn’t
really surprised. He is not the kind of person who would spend hours studying
and come to believe intellectual and theological arguments about why it’s okay
to be gay and Christian. Instead he’s at the other end of the equation; someone
who is overly influenced by the self-help and God of abundance of pop-pentecostalism.
But the end result is still the same. A walking away from the truth into a
self-created sort of religion where “I create my own destiny; God works along
side.”  

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7 thoughts on “Helpless

  1. What’s wrong with him having a boyfriend?I’m not one to be all about religions and such… But as far as I know. Shouldn’t God love you for who you are?

  2. There’s a quote I’ve heard that says “If God created us in His image, we’ve more than returned the favor.” It’s sad to see how a large part of the Christian church today has adopted the “me first” mentality, expecting God to accept and support whatever action we decide to take. The argument is “A loving God would love us for who we are, and wouldn’t expect us to be anything other than how he created us.” The problem with that is…we’re all sinners…so should God love us for it? If the church as a whole adopts this mentality, sin won’t be a part of the picture before long. We’ll live according to what Dietrich Bonhoeffer calls “cheap grace.” “Cheap grace means the justification of sin without the justification of the sinner. Grace alone does everything thy say, and so everything can remain as it was before. ‘All for sin could not atone.” Well, then, let the Christian live like th erest of the world, let him model himself on the world’s standards in every sphere of life, and no presumptuously aspire to live a different life under grace from his old life under sin.” (Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship)Check out “The Cost of Discipleship” if you haven’t already. The first chapter particularly. It packs a powerful punch. Anyway, I know where you’re coming from, and pray God will use you in the situation with this guy.

  3. typo correction: “they say” not “thy say”

  4. it really seems like God is doing some great things in your life. It’s always hard to get away from a wayward life when God captures your heart. This is something I have to tell myself about women, there’s not one that will fully satisfy me so I need to rely upon the grace of God to do his work in providing for me and not looking for a worldly savior because no one can fill that God-sized whole in your heart. I think as Christ continues to teach you he will lead you in a direction of seeking His puposes with others without necessary intimateness that we so often seek (whether homo or heterosexual). Also understand that not everyone is going to be converted to His image but our responsibility is to still tell them the gospel and let God do his work.

  5. That is definitely a tough situation.  I know in these situations, I always feel the pressure, to “save” this person and convince them of God’s Truth, however, I have come to realize that this is not the reason God puts us in these situations.  Sure, it is possible to have one conversation with a person and open their eyes, but more likely, God just wants you to be honest and truthful, and plant a seed in their heart.  You may or may not see that seed grow yourself, but that will happen under God’s watchful eye and according to His will.  So, I think your response seems to be quite genuine and true.  It doesn’t matter what you think, as it is a question that he must answer for himself.  At the same time, I think it was also good that you questions his own conclusions, and perhaps that will make him think more deeply about this issue.  So I would recommend that you continue doing what you are doing with this guy, which is to be an honest friend who will continue to respectfully disagree with him and question him about the decisions he makes in his life.  I’ll be praying that God gives you wisdom and uses your words if you talk to your friend again.   

  6. mm…i know the situation. and honestly, i have no idea what to do lol. But keep praying, and maybe keep talking to him. maybe read the bible wif him? i dunno…i am honestly clueless…

  7. Wow, bro.  Stuff like this SHOULD break my heart.  I would do what Gastby says above and just respectfully disagree with the guy; no one’s ever been argued into the kingdom, but we are supposed to speak truth.

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