At high school, it was year 8 or something, and a mate said to me that another guy didn’t want to go to his sleepover because I was going and I was a snob. At the time I was surprised/hurt, and consoled myself that I was just shy. But, realization, sometimes I am a snob.
At work people say my name in conversation and I just ignore it. Like last week the sports reporter and the editor were talking. I was working at my computer in the same room. They were having a friendly, jocular conversation and you know how sometimes people just say your name to draw you in. Well the sports reporter said “Chris something”. Not to me, but so I would hear and I pretended I didn’t hear it. Why? Well I was trying to show I wasn’t eavesdropping, but then I ignored something I should have heard. Snob, I thought.
It’s weird how sometimes I have “realizations” about things that should have been obvious all along. It seems to happen a lot. I’ll think about something and for some reason 2 + 2 will equal 4 in a particular moment and wallah. I feel stupid.
Anyway so trying not to be a snob in ways I now realize are snobbish didn’t begin so well. A work mate asked me to lunch and then go play some golf thing, and I was like ‘uh’. Then I couldn’t decide whether to go or not. Then I said ‘no’. Why? Well because I wanted to have a day of freedom after a busy few weeks or so. So I guess selfishness. Later I also felt like a ‘snob’ because I said ‘no’ and wished I had have said ‘yes’.
To make up for this I decided I had to go to church instead. (I haven’t been going to any churches in the town where I work, but going to my old church every second weekend or so when I stay at my parents). I went and then someone, okay three people, asked me to go to their youth service tonight. And not being a snob I said ‘maybe’ and then later decided to. So I went and it was okay. They sang one of my favourite Hillsong’s To know your name and the guy speaking works on the rival newspaper, so that was interesting to hear. I avoided after service chit chat, which promised to be awkward and involve lots of shouting considering the likely sound level of the music video. But otherwise it was a good step out of snobbishness.