Do I trust God? Do I trust Him?


I’m a minority (Australians), of a minority (Christians) of a minority (dealing with same sex attraction). But wow; an exclamation of astonishment, and maybe praise, but definitely not delight. Wow. That this (SSA) is the way God would choose for me to know that He is enough. That Christ crucified took my sins. That such were some of you. That this (my sinful nature and my sin) is why the wrath of God was upon me.


Do I trust God? Do I trust Him?


I’m not one to suggest that God takes risks or is ever surprised. If he is Sovereign and in control then somewhere along the way he allowed everything. Somewhere along the way God allowed SSA to come my way.


“…you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good…” (Gen 50:20) Josesph says to his brothers in Egypt years after they sold him as a slave and pretended he was dead.


Do I trust God? Do I trust Him?


If it wasn’t for SSA I’d probably be a Pharisee. But this battle comes up and knocks out my pride and self-sufficiency. If it wasn’t for SSA would I ‘really’ be a Christian. Maybe I’d just be a cultural Christian. It wasn’t for SSA would I know the depth of my sinfulness and brokenness. Sometimes it surprises me with how very bent my sinful self is.

Do I trust God? Do I trust Him?


Sometimes my mantra is a line out of Nine Day’s song, Bitter: “If I could change anything; I would change everything.” But these were the thoughts I had this morning. Are they crazy?


5 thoughts on “Wow

  1. Amen Brother, What a revelation and encouragement. God BlessNIfty_Boy (John.)

  2. Excellent thoughts that I also share at times (except the part about being Australian…LOL…but I wish I shared the cool accent).

  3. While you may consider yourself in several “minorities,” I think you are asking questions that the MAJORITY of Christians are asking (or should be asking) themselves. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and no, they are not crazy!

  4. You are not crazy at all (and not alone at all). You’re in my prayers.

  5. Hey Chris,I’m Daniel. I don’t think we’ve message each and I think this is my first time on your site.  Not sure we haven’t connected since you’ve been on xanga a long time :)Anyways, I totally agree with your post. I always knew God chose me and once I realized that SSA is not God’s best for me…I asked Him for help. That journey/”struggle” is probably the single most important factor that’s grown my walk with God. In fact, I even think God has a special role for us SSA guys, because we know the truths of the bible to be His words that worked in real life. I know God has an amazing plan for all His people, but I just see how our struggle really makes us take life and God a bit more seriously. Don’t know if I clearly stated my meaning, but hopefully you’re getting the gist of it. Peace brother. Look forward to getting to know you better.I’m in the Philippines…not that far from you, but lets face it. Auss is far from everywhere. :)-daniel

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