This week has been interesting.
I had to see the sensiguy from last post a few more times last week than was healthy for me and by Friday I wasn’t sleeping particularly well and was a little bit too excited.
It turned out he was straight anyway, which was surprising, and I think that has ended my interest in trying to read signs and eyes to find out who is gay.
I would go into all the gory details, but I did that with a friend on Friday morning and I think saying things out loud is healthy. But it also shocks me with how unhealthy the whole business was. “We spent five minutes talking about a gay comedian” sounds a lot less bizarre when it remains knowledge in my head.
I don’t even know what the whole point of it was for me.
Today marks 30 days since I last masturbated. It’s a little less exciting when my headspace was an emotional mess for 48 hours.
One good thing though is that I think it’s only going to take a couple of days and I’ll hardly be thinking about this guy. When I was 15 it would take six weeks to reach the same point.
Progress in pain I guess.