This week has been interesting.

I had to see the sensiguy from last post a few more times last week than was healthy for me and by Friday I wasn’t sleeping particularly well and was a little bit too excited.

It turned out he was straight anyway, which was surprising, and I think that has ended my interest in trying to read signs and eyes to find out who is gay.

I would go into all the gory details, but I did that with a friend on Friday morning and I think saying things out loud is healthy. But it also shocks me with how unhealthy the whole business was. “We spent five minutes talking about a gay comedian” sounds a lot less bizarre when it remains knowledge in my head.

I don’t even know what the whole point of it was for me.

Today marks 30 days since I last masturbated. It’s a little less exciting when my headspace was an emotional mess for 48 hours.

One good thing though is that I think it’s only going to take a couple of days and I’ll hardly be thinking about this guy. When I was 15 it would take six weeks to reach the same point.

Progress in pain I guess.


3 thoughts on “Whoops

  1. Some of my best friends are straight but sensitive guys. I can feel a deep affection from them that is NOT sexual. If you end up becoming good friends with the one you are writing about here, you might find the same thing. Something about the emotional capacity of sensitive guys makes them great friends.

  2. I love your posts, Chris.  I pray for you and think of you often even if I don’t comment all the time.  Love ya, brother.

  3. Hey, as long as you are still learning, i think that is awesome.  I know i gave up trying to figure out of people were gay or not, i figured there is no good reason I should be wondering about it.  A couple of my in person friends came up to me, when I told them, and they told me they struggled too. NEVER would have guessed it from these guys and girls.  If someone feels comfortable to share with me, then so be it, but im not going to go out and stir the pot (so to speak).30 days is quite an awesome achievement dude!! way to go!!!! Think you can go 30 more? 😉 

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