SO next year I am going to be teaching. I found a job (or God blessed me with a job). It’s exciting. I’ll be returning to the country after a year in Melbourne, but that should be okay as I’ll be busy. There’s a gym and a pool and 20 tournament standard tennis courts, so plenty around to keep me fit. The school itself is kind of small, but sounds like a really supportive environment and it’s private so the kids should be mostly well behaved. Classroom management isn’t exactly one of my top skills, haha. They use the International Baccalaureate middle years program, so that will be different and also exciting. (The IB is a holistic curriculum designed to be used around the world administered in Europe.) I’m seriously looking forward to another round of trying to teach Romeo and Juliet and Macbeth now I’m more confident and talented.
On the SSA front nothing to different to usual has been happening. It continues to be a small part of my life with the awareness that I have a greater than usual ability to appreciate male beauty. Recently I was chatting with a friend from church and she was asking me for my opinion on different things. She asked me what I thought of homosexuality and I said ‘as someone who deal with this…’ It’s always been my goal to be comfortable mentioning my issues if it comes up in conversation, but not making it into a big deal. At church the next Sunday I sat down and started talking to her and then thought ‘there was a reason I was going to be uncomfortable when I saw her next….um…oh yeah, I told her about my thing during the week. Well, we seem normal’. And that was that. It was cool to me that I had forgotten I told her, because five years ago I most definitely would not have. I didn’t even think about it when we were chatting for a while on the Sunday just gone.
I’ve still been pondering marriage and women. In the intellectual sense unfortunately; there’s no sparks happening. I guess my pondering recently has been born of a desire to have someone intimately involved in my life and mine in them. A true companion. Because of this I can see how God designed marriage to be the way this desire is fulfilled. The other week a girl from church invited several people from church over for a dinner party. She is the kind of girl I could imagine myself marrying: petite, blonde, vibrant, hospitable, and intellectual. And yet no sparks there. The other thing is that I’ve read of a few SSA guys having marriage difficulties in recent days and it’s made me question how much emotion/attraction I should feel before I jump into a relationship to give it the best chance of success. I feel like I’m all ready to go as a man except for the little issue of attraction or having the right girl. The other thing the difficulty of other men made me think was ‘hmmm, maybe being single forever won’t be so bad. I’ll find some intense ministry and invest my life in that or purchase a studio apartment and live it up in the city by myself on the weekend.’ I don’t think families suit studio apartments.
I’ve been feeling closer to God lately, which goes hand-in-hand with the fact I’m making more of an effort to make my Bible time productive and my prayers genuine. I’m looking forward to slowly going through Hebrews with a great brother. I’ve also had some time to listen to sermons, which I basically have been too busy for all year. Tonight I’m hoping to remember the glory days of sermon consumption and check-out John Piper’s latest. One thing I’ve been really tardy with this year is beginning spiritual conversations with non-believers. I’ve had a couple because they initiated it after I told them I was going to church on the weekend or something, but I haven’t been on my game. I did with a mate from uni on the second last day of my classes; better late than never I guess.
So that’s my life at the moment.
Oh yeah, I’m coming to the USA for five weeks in about 10 days! Can’t wait! I need to get away from it all, so I can miss it, and come back fresher and better than ever.