I’m already making progress on my goals for 2012. I had a couple of friends over for lunch on Sunday then a couple and their kids today and I’ll have my parents on Monday. It’s quite fun trying to create tasty food and an enjoyable atmosphere. I’m also learning…for example put the water in the fridge a couple of hours beforehand. I’m going to ikea on Saturday, so I’ll get some more things I need.
Since I moved house on Oct 15 or so I haven’t had a broadband internet connection at home. I still have internet access via my phone but this is limited by both the quantity of my allowance and the speed of the 3G. It’s been interesting. I’ve been able to check the news/facebook/email/xanga etc and have type skypes, but not much more beyond that. It has meant that I’ve missed out on skyping with some good friends a few times, but that has been the only major negative. It’s reduced my sin episodes with the internet somewhat, which has been good. I think sometimes we underestimate the need to cut our access to sin. It really can be the easiest way to avoid it. Unfortunately it’s almost impossible these days to be without internet access. Our parents have it or our phone has it or it’s part of our accommodation deal. I wish that wasn’t the case as I think getting rid of it would be a good thing for some of us. As for myself I’ll probably get it again after I pass the stress hurdles in the next couple of months when I’d usually turn to the crap.
I’m feeling a little frustrated with myself at the moment. I’m still dealing with similar sins to the ones I was battling ten years ago. I mean, come on Chris; get a move on… I don’t know. Some of the SSA guys are really struggling with sin or feeling lost and angry or desiring a significant other and I want to be able to say to them, ‘look it’s possible to run after God with everything and live a satisfactory and worthwhile life’ except my life isn’t a very good example for them. It’s painful to see so many SSA guys in pain and yet be kind of in the same situations even if my responses are not always the same. I don’t know; I just get frustrated. I feel that infantile behaviour is overly accepted these days in general and in our circles as well. I feel we, I, just need to man up sometimes. Trust God; obey and make the best of the situation. And stop playing ‘what if this or what if that’. If we’re going with God; let’s run. I feel like if God came to us as he does to Job we’d say ‘God that’s very harsh of you to tell me how great you are when I’m obviously in a lot of pain. You’re not a very nice person and you don’t understand my situation. You should give me what I want. I’m not going to listen to you anymore.’ These comments are not meant to be related to anyone on xanga; just a vibe..