To have pure motives

SOMETIMES I really wish I could have pure motives.

I was listening to a sermon yesterday and the preacher was talking about struggles during the first years of marriage and he said that the major problem was that he was trying to make his wife love him as he wanted to be loved. He was trying to make her act in certain ways so that he felt loved.

It resonated with me because I know I sometimes do the same thing.

I had a few friends over for a roast chicken dinner last night and then we played board games and I was questioning my motivation in doing that. Sure I hoped that they would enjoy the meal and company, but my motivations were multifaceted and I’m not sure whether the desire for their happiness was greater than my desire for my own. After dinner it seemed like I would have plenty of leftovers, which I was really excited about. Then one of my friends became hungry and suddenly I was worried about my beautiful plan of eating delicious leftovers. I wasn’t very concerned about their hunger or satisfaction.

Sometimes I’m aware my motivations are not as pure as they could be and I regulate my behaviour to make sure that no one knows this. Then I’m weighing up what I want, what I think they want and what I can do that makes me look loving, but does not impact on the outcome in my favour. Not that I consciously evaluate it using those labels, but it’s basically what’s happening.

I wish I had pure and good motivations for everything that I did. That I was truly seeking the best for others and their happiness and ultimate joy rather than being a mix of desires. And I’m not exactly sure how I get to that place or into the situation where my motives are becoming increasingly pure.


One thought on “To have pure motives

  1. Don’t over-complicate it. Just love others. I think the process is already in place: you recognize the struggle and choice of “you VS them.” The counterintuitive Kingdom truth is that by choosing “them” you actually walk away feeling loved as well. It’s not really an either/or decision, or at least it shouldn’t have to be. I think the renewing of our hearts and minds takes place as we continually work through this decision process and learn to trust both God and others more and more. We learn to release, to bless, to transfer our power, energy, and resources to others out of our deep wells of security and trust in the source of living waters. And wouldn’t you know it? They never run dry!Simple steps:1) Awareness of the situation2) Awareness of our choice3) Taking ownership of the choice we have and can makeNot to hijack your blog post or anything but I actually encountered this exact same “problem” earlier today. Once a month my church family has a community BBQ at one of the local parks and we invite anyone and everyone to join us. Realistically, that means a lot of homeless and street people come. Well, we discovered that several of them did art at some point and would love to again. I went to WalMart to buy them some supplies and found myself wrestling with my flesh over how much I’d spend. The revelation of truth that hit me was “Well, if someone was buying this for me, what would I like to use?” So I found the heaviest paper, a large pack of the pens I like to use, and some extra pencils as well. It suddenly became so clear to me “Why would I gift them with anything less than I’d buy for myself?!” So I’d like to think that a little bit of my selfishness died. But not just that, instead, I think a little bit of my fear died. I grew in my ability to trust God as a provider, to share my financial blessings with others.

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